Why do we love?

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 6/30/2008 05:26:00 PM

Friday, June 27, 2008

I was on my way home just now from tampines. I am really very tired now but i still feel a need to share. I was alone on Bus 18 on my way back. I think because i am alone, i seems to be like some "Emo" kid sitting on the bus eating my cornflakes. Actually I am very deep in my thoughts after having a good talk with Janice personally about my Life. I was thinking about People and Leaders.

I am actively participating in ministries so there are quite a number of leaders above me. So there is no such thing as i don't understand how to submit to a leader. Because my leaders from the start train me to be submissive to them. That is why i do not have any trouble on that. The thing is whether is there a fine line between the people and the leaders.

1) Can you leaders be your friend?

Leaders are your friends originally, but when it come to a point when we are very submissive to them that it became a point that they become a friend that you are submitted to but no longer a normal friend to talk your heart out. As time goes by, you will no longer share much about your life with them but you have learn to be submitted only.

2) Does that mean you cannot share to your leaders?

Of course you can share. But for me i think there should be a balance between you treating a person as a friend or as a leader. If you treat your leaders more towards the friends side there may be some kind of leader's respect being decrease. If you treat your leaders more towards the leaders side, you will be submitted but become less open to them. slowly there will be a huge wall build up between the both of you.

3) So how do we maintain the balance?

Ask God to maintain that balance for you. We are still Man in nature, it is almost impossible for us to maintain that balance without having any conflicts and disagreement sometimes. But with God nothing is impossible. So i believe if we place that leaders and people relationship in His hands, He will help us handle it real well.

Even I myself sometimes have it hard to be open to my leaders. That is why i never stop trying and keep in in prayer for God to handle them. In my Christian walk with God there will be even more people being place above me. All the leaders that is above us are all place in the Will of God. If we try to make a change to it, does it mean that you are telling Him that He is making a wrong choice for you. So do try to maintain that balance, because they are place above you for a reason. Amen. :)

Hebrews 13:17

17 Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you.

Learning Day by Day: Matthew 28:19

19 Go therefore^[a] and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 6/27/2008 08:27:00 PM

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Yesterday i spend the night on conference call with a few of my cell members. We are talking about life in the school. Some of us are facing spiritual warfare in our schools, homes and relationships (friends of course). As we talk about it, almost all of us have something to share. Actually i am not surprise at all, because even I myself are facing problems. Of course I won't share it here.

We are talking about our lives in school. We are actually talking about one of our newcomer being a loner in the school. Yunhe and I feels that is nothing new to us. For Yunhe case is because people have been avoiding him. For my case, I just prefer to be alone most of the the time. I am not the "Solo Kid" in the class. It is just that i do not want to stay around with my classmates and talk about redundant topics all day. I find that wasting of time and i prefer to be at some staircase way listening to P&W songs and have some quiet praying.

I have been hearing from different people around me. Telling me about their issues and still issues. The neverending issues in their lives. After having a good talk with them, I begin to examine myself. Do I have issues in my life? Yes i still have issues in my life. When i think again, is these issues bothering me? No it doesn't. For my case, i don't think it is bothering me because i am not holding on to it.

Does that mean i don't need to solve these issues? Yes, I still need to solve these issues. But i have make that choice to leave these issues at the cross. I mean anyone and everyone can also do it. It just that whether you want to hold on to it or let it go. Amen! :)

Learning Day by Day: John 17:17 17 Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth.

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 6/26/2008 05:17:00 PM

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

I am still not recover yet, my cough have been getting from bad to worse. I really hope it can recover before the start of my Oral Exams. I was eating my dinner just now, i am thinking back about the line that I have cross over during the night of the retreat. Suddenly this story came into my mind. So i think i want to share it.

Two teenagers are at the altar call behind a line that the Pastor have lay before them. They are having a little short conversation after making their decision.

Mr A : Hey B are you crossing over the line?

Mr B: Why should I tell you, it is between God and I. ( sounds like myself )

When the Pastor ask for a call. Both of them responded and cross over the line. Mr B ask Mr A why he cross over the line. Mr A answered "When I first receive my salvation, I have already cross over the line. This is just another line that I want to crossover, leaving the the world behind me Again."

This story depict of two saved person crossing the line of no turning back. I remember people crossing over the line. It is truly a line that there is no turning back. But there are times we need to cross over the line again and again to overcome ourselves. I was talking to Daphne few days ago. We are also talking about the line that we must cross constantly.

We are thinking there is almost no reason that we don't cross that line. If at the start we never cross the line, i don't even know what i will end up to be. Still sitting down at the void deck "slacking" waiting to get myself caught or getting into trouble and end up ruining my future. So eventually i decided to cross that line.

The Cross before me, The World behind me. Amen! :)

Learning Day by Day: Galatians 2:20

20I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 6/25/2008 05:27:00 PM

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

I am so physically tired in school today. Early in the morning i plan what i want to do. I decided to pamper myself and go watch kung fu panda after school. But i still think watching movie is a waste of time and money. Something that my friend said really struck me. "You have been so involve in your church activities, don't you think you are really getting away from the world." I understand what she meant. I like it or not, I still cannot deny the fact that I am living in the world that consist of secular activities.

I immediately spend some time to ask God about it. He encouraged me to continue the things i have been doing in church. I was reminded again about the verse in Matthew 7:13.

The Narrow Way

13 “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. 14 Because^[a] narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.

I have been feeling very lonely lately, I thought it was just that I am too free to do things that is why I feel lonely. I went out frequently last week with my friends. I was in a big crowd most of the time. During that time, I seem to have fun in the things i am doing, I laugh, i joke around with them. But i still feel lonely.

I asked God about it, He told me "Aren't you glad you are walking in the narrow way?" I am glad that I am walking on the narrow way but I want my peers to be with me. I know my reply was real dumb because I have already understand in my knowledge that great leaders walk alone. But God answered me again " If your heart is burden with your peers, why didn't you seek them first but seek Me instead."

After the whole conversation, I finally understood. Of all the loneliness i have been feeling, in it I have truly learn to seek God even for the smallest thing that is happening in my life. I don't seek my peers, seek my friends, seek my leaders, But it became an automatic thing for me to seek God first out of all the things.

After all the conviction, God reminded me a quote that someone told me before. "Even the person you trusted the Most in your Life disappoint you sometimes, because they are still Man in nature, but God never once disappoint us." This quote have been in my mind all this while. This is what i used to encourage myself when people around me disappoints me.

I am really glad that I am now walking the narrow way. Come to think of it my peers will one day leave me eventually. I really learn from God, and i now on my way in learning to seek Him at any moment. Although I am lonely but there is still Jesus besides me. I am contented for that, and i am willing to exchange anything to have more of Him but less of me. Amen! :)

Learning Day by Day: Romans 8:37 37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 6/24/2008 06:51:00 PM

This is the first evangelistic outreach for BGSS. This BBQ is specially for BGSS people. It is held on 20th June. There is 25 people from BGSS (excluding myself) , after real counting half is from my class and another half is from various classes around the school. I got 1 salvation in total.

2 months ago

I was asked by one of my leaders to do an outreach event for my school. After considerations I decided to do a BBQ after all. I design a nice flyer to advertise for the whole event. I never really did any planning due to the events which is so tied up during the whole of June holidays.

1 month ago

Yunhe, Jeremy and I went down to my school to do Street-E on the last day of the school before the June holidays. Although the response was not that good, but a few agreed to reconsider about it. To us, it is already an encouragement because we are not totally ignored. On the Saturday of that week i went down to book the pit. It was consider last minute but we are bless on a spot which is convenient since it is near marine cove.

Counting down 5 days

I finally get myself to settle and carefully plan out the tasks that is needed to be fufiled. I went online to settle the BBQ food and prayed about the event. I was sure I am to share the edited version of Keep Moving Forward. So i prepared the message briefly. But due to the change of events i found out that i am short of cash to fund for the BBQ. So i approach my cell members for help in funding for the BBQ too. after the money i place mostly, I found out there are more money left to fund for other outreaches. We have been tuly bless.

The Great Day

Finally, It was the day of the BBQ. Everything is carried out as planned. The guys went to get the drinks and the Cheryl and I went down to the BBQ place to collect the food. WE carried the BBQ pit for the food like mad. The things are so heavy anddue to my health problems i got to rest along the way. I fell like knocking the heads of the guys. Everything was going well. I lost my cool quite a number of times, that must be special time as I never get angry before. I guess I just want everything to be all right. Everyone came and enjoy themselves. Kimsiong and Sabby shared their testimony and it has been a good response for all of them. At least they never walk off in the middle.

God have been truly helping us throughout the whole event, by funding and providing us in various. I believe in the day that would come when the people around me will be saved. Amen! :)

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 6/24/2008 04:49:00 PM

Monday, June 23, 2008

I have been reading a new book called the Pillars Of Faith by Dr Brian J. Bailey. It is a great book. From this book i learn a new verse which eventually became my daily prayer. I decided to be open this once and share to others about this great verse that became my daily prayer.

2 Peter 1:5-8

Fruitful Growth in the Faith

5 But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, 6 to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, 7 to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. 8 For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

This is a great verse to me. I got a revelation from this Word during my devotions. At first when I first read this verse, to me it is a good point to learn. Nothing more about it. To me, It is just another Word that I read from the book. But God reminded to me of this verse that I read and told me to meditate on it. I thought that I have already understand how it meant, But i still went to meditate on it during my quiet time. I read it again during the night of Encounter Retreat. I got a very weird feeling, I can't exactly explain how I feel but it was really very weird. I shared it the book to one of my zone member but that feeling never left me at all.

The Revelation really struck me is during the last night of the whole Retreat. During the altar call, every one was desperate for God, crying and weeping. Personally I was also at the altar call, have the urge to cry but didn't cry at all. Suddenly I heard God telling me to open my eyes. When I open my eyes, what i saw was desperate people kneeling and weeping. God told me, "Isn't that common?" At that point of time I didn't know how to answer Him. I was again reminded by the verse. He answer me again, " That is Faith." I finally understood. Everyone was desperate because they have the Faith that God will make a change in their Lives.

I asked again about my disappointment in the people I see always kneeling, weeping for a change in the Altar Call. Proclaiming themselves "Change" after leaving the Altar Call. But once again seeing them going back the same old same old and having the cycle of "Change" in their lives. God told me something very truthful, He told me that even He have been disappointed alot of times. He told me not to be disappointed but to live the life myself. I totally agreed to that.

The whole thing really spark off a change in myself that i am now building the pillars of Faith in my life. I have never once share this to anyone, not even to my leaders. It is another learning point to learn from God. So Live The LIfe! Amen. :)

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 6/23/2008 06:31:00 PM

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

I have been to Gen Conference, Dr Bailey night meetings, zone camp, and encounters retreat. i have really experience God in a way i never experience before. All the while i have been feeding myself in the Word. every time in the Word. It became a habit that I get to digest in it too fast. That i need to be constantly fed by online pod-casts, video pod-cast, online sermons. I am now buried by christians books, mostly by dr brian bailey. have been fed greatly through the whole holiday.

I don't know what happen to myself, i become so stretch until i am like a piece of rubber band. i am to my limits already. please do not add on to my responsibility. i may break down anytime. i fell so sick on tuesday that i cannot got up from my bed. i stayed on my bed till like 12 noon. i think this was brought forward when i do duty and attended 3 services straight. after everything my head is spinning. but i really feel very sick. i climb of bed with my blur blur face and my dead voice. i went back to sleep two times in a day. i finally have my senses right when i really woke up at 7 pm. woke up to eat dinner and i K.O again at 12 midnight.

today morning i was coughing like mad at home, but i remember i got so much things to settle within a day. i called jeremy and joey to help me out. but in the end both of them are so late that i decided to do everything alone. i went down to the bbq wholesale place and did every order. i wanted help but there was no help given. i still feel very sick but went ahead to do some sports with jeremy they all. it is not that i don't know how to take care of myself but i believe sports will make me healthier.

i really believe that God will provide and fund for the whole BBQ thing for BGSS. I believe souls will be saved since so much effort is put in. Amen. :)

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 6/18/2008 08:52:00 PM

Monday, June 2, 2008

In Ecclesiastes 12:11-12, The words of the wise are like goads, and the words of scholars are like well-driven nails, given by one The words of the wise are like goads, and the words of scholars are like well-driven nails, given by one Shepherd. 12 And further, my son, be admonished by these. Of making many books there is no end, and much study is wearisome to the flesh. I don't like studying. Especially the education in Singapore.

Just now i was scolded and nagged by my father. Angry until I want to explode. He claims that I didn't study, when try to tell him that I did study for it. I just get scolded back. So i keep quiet.

People have to learn to listen. I have been learning to listen for the past 16 yrs of my life. Maybe i should learn to speak up instead of listening. When i speak up, No one actually want to even listen to my one sentence. Although i am happy because this situation only happens at home.

I have been mugging for days, from monday to friday go to school mugged, saturday after zone service mugged and after service mugged again. I don't find joy in doing it, So what ever i have done it doesn't really go into my heart. Studying for the sake of studying. I may really go crazy one day.

I was thinking of my future plan few days ago. I saw the ZMIS ad on the sunday bulletin. I want to go for a degree in Theology. But i don't think anyone would allow me to do that. I want doesn't mean I can.

Maybe i should make a change. With this i conclude. Amen!

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 6/02/2008 04:43:00 PM