Why do we love?

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 3/29/2008 12:08:00 AM

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Thursday- I have finish from where i have stop. ministry, i want to go for the early morning services. but i cannot go. school, i felt so out of place in my class. today my class people are talking to our teacher on geog lesson. the topics they talk about, it makes me feel like leaving the class room. i cannot stand!!! i am not being over spiritual or anything. it is the thing with speech. i have been praying that i won't be influence by them, it is just that like i am immune to them. i will just be negative when they say something really very bad. like judging others by how they looks, insulting people. those are really what i cannot stand. school is great. it is my mission field. but whether i will be influence by them or the other way around. i am realy glad that i have a stronghold behind me, which is God. but the question is how long can i hold out. i hope to influence them with the word, but it seems like the other way round. i am troubled by what i am facing. maybe i should heed some advice from my leaders maybe during these few days. i believe i can solve this problem of mine. another thing, the films that nowadays that i showing. different leaders will tell you what to do or what not to do. if you believe they are right then you can follow them. if you believe they are wrong then do things in your own way. doesn't mean that you leaders are always right. it is just whether God has place this conviction in your heart on the things you are doing.. so do not think until you are stress over these things. hear what God is saying is the most important. Messages- i am very serious in whatever i am writing, because i know what i write may impact people or may let people learn the wrong things. i have been careful on what i have write and have been praying for them. I hope i will be able to share soon. Amen!

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 3/27/2008 08:21:00 PM

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Wednesday- back from BS just now. thinking and thinking what is the sharing to me. it is about sacrifice. i always know that obedience is so much better than sacrifices. but i also understand that we have to make some sacrifices. i did quite a number of sacrifices, but i don't really like to share about it, it is more than personal. but i enjoy what i get after sacrificing. anyways, i was given 4 words on good friday. i got a new title for my new message but i not sure to write what about it. i think and think but i don't know what to write. the four words are in chinese. hai hao hui fei. in english it is luckily can fly. but after today BS, i know what to share about it. i am now not only impacted but motivated to move forward to write more messages for God. Amen!

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 3/26/2008 10:22:00 PM

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Tuesday- went to the gym today with matty and xiao yun. real work out. not really very tired, because i got to sleep back then. i have alot of things to do. i manage to finish my 6 ideas for Dnt. quite fascinating. i am just thinking and thinking what i am going to do tml. i decided to take the initiative to do some things. i decided to visit the guys BS session tml afternoon. i am interested to know how things are going on and stuff like that. it is good to learn more. no matter how many related messages i have listen to before. most of them i have forgotten. i have been praying for a breakthrough on increasing my memory power. i used to give myself memory verses. i find out that my memory is very bad. if i can remember one or two is consider good for me. i am reading some of the geners blogs just now. not say i busybody, i just want to know what is the current living. i see that some of them enjoy themselves but some are struggling. i usually have no comments in such situation. because i was taught to MYOB. when i was reading, a guy from my zone post up the song 'Still'. i stayed on the blog and i enjoyed it. it impacted me. i got this few words. Being impacted is just one thing, but being motivated to do is another thing. people can share all kinds of messages but do we really move on, and continue saying that we are impacted. Keep moving forward got talk about this. i did a few modification. i believe this message is not about only hearing the word, the verses, the preaching. but whether it will do something to you life. for example prayer. people can pray and pray for hours. i did a diff. method in my prayer walk. i usually pray a short prayer, then i will spend rest of the time waiting to hear God. it is actually quite a simple logic. i like to keep things simple, it is like talking with people. do we talk and talk and doesn't allow our friends to response. of course we will pause and listen what is up next. i know some people don't agree with me. but i believe that diff. people got diff. perspective.

I learn quite a number of things these few months. alot of things happen and stuff like that. it makes me more adament in moving forward. and i will not look back to see what is behind me. even if i look back it will not affect me. i am more willing to take more steps to success. i have talk to my followups today. i will give them some BS to help them improve in the word. i will not share keep moving forward but maybe speech and ARK. i believe to share what is applicable to them, is good for them. and i believe i will get a chance to reach Zion one day. Amen!

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 3/25/2008 11:41:00 PM

Monday, March 24, 2008

Monday- today in school i don't really enjoy it. i was feeling so terrible throughout the lesson. maybe because it is after P.E and recess. i felt tired and then hungry. today i didn't really talk much to my friends, all of us are tired. I am now in a better stage, i can open my eyes and sleep. my friend sitting beside me saw me jerk. then i became very very awake. she was asking me i wake up liao. she was so freak out. although i open my eyes i still got my 15 mins rest. after bio, the whole group of Dnt students went down to TKSS to view the DnT awards. it is good to observe other people's work. i really learn alot. after school went back home to enjoy myself for a cup of rootbeer. i was told that my sis went to buy a handphone without waiting for me!!! she pangsei me. i want to get a new phone!!! i think tonight i will continue my prayer checklist and pray for more people. yah i just remember, a friend of mine just got saved on easter sunday in another church. i am so happy for her. hope she will learn more from Jesus. Amen!

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 3/24/2008 07:42:00 PM

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Sunday- today quite interesting. it is easter sunday. i am feeling so enjoyable today. like nothing really hits me today. unlike my normal school days when sometimes i really cannot stand it. as usual, join the zone for lunch, go for 3rd service, eat lunch with cell. like nothing really changes. it is so like "usual". but today quite enjoyable. i went for dinner with some of our zone members at 85. we talk about the different view points of shepherd and sheep. now i really know what a shepherd really wants to know about their sheep. it is not i don't like to tell them, it is just that i don't know how to express it in words. i can talk better with guys like my close brothers all around me. i have never share what is really within me with jan and the other girls. maybe towards xiaoyun, because we are more than friends. we know each other family background and we understand our different styles. it is much more easier to talk to a person who know you well. rather than a person who is trying so hard to know you. today we went coffee showcase to lim tei. like we nothing to do like that. we started doing our homework and stuff. when the bill came i found out that my wallet only left 4 bucks and i bought an expensive drink. i was like what the.... i got a few friend who see i no money, want to help me pay. i was thinking and thinking, i recall that i sure have money in my bag. i was digging for cash in my bag, i found over a 100 bucks in it lah. i got no money in my wallet, but i got money in my bag. not every time like that one la. it just happen that i need to top up my bus card and pay for repairs and stuff like that. lol. tomorrow i will be back in school. i really must chiong for my subject and stuff like that. i believe i can make it to the college i want. Jesus is raise from the dead today. he lives again! Amen!

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 3/23/2008 11:16:00 PM

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Thursday- So many things happen this week. i am so surprise of the things happening this week. i got hurt exercising, my phone spoilt yesterday. i went down to a handphone shop to fix it, the person first say that my software got problem so he is going to reformat it. after an hour i got a phone call from the guy that say my CPU got problem. i was like what the.... i thought only the software spoil, CPU is spoil that is it siah. lousy phone. i have been thinking of changing it for a new phone. that won't get infected by virus and stuff. got to trade in my current one though. the price quite okay for my current one. got to go get a new phone that is not so virus prone. got to be wise on what i am going to do. tomorrow is good friday, on that day to some is a public holday to enjoy. but to me it is relatively different. Jesus died on that day, and live again three days after His death. I really feel that sadness within me though. although quite a number of things has happen to me this week. i know now whatever it is, it is to PRESS ON!!! Amen!

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 3/20/2008 07:50:00 PM

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Wednesday-i actually went down to school today. i found out that i actually can walk to school so i went to school. i also need to submit my proposal, it is like i must go or get ahck to death by my class. i must be abit crazy to play badminton although my ribs are hurting. but i found out that it doesn't really hurt anymore so never paste a big plaster to get it heal. yeeha i save money. heehee. feel like going to tampines on friday to da dian dong. long time never go and play the arcade. i also feel like going out with some friends. i don't really like the idea of going out, must spend money. all sorts of weird things happening to me, i think i hav entered to the wilderness, hope i can go past it though. For what always God is with me. Amen!

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 3/19/2008 09:52:00 PM

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Tuesday-not a really good school day. got a lot of influence from friends and stuff like that. got terrible pain from the exercise i did in gym. i mean i really feel that i am over doing what i can do. some people know why i am doing that. i am just trying to numb the pain of some things. i don't really want to mention this in the blog it is more than personal. i believe some who really know me well enough know what i have been going through in the past 10 years or so. i mean it have been more clear to me after the wilderness experience. hurt a muscle is more minor than what has been hurting me for the past 10 years. no matter what i do i hope God grace will be upon me so i can pull through it easily. Amen!

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 3/18/2008 10:43:00 PM

Monday, March 17, 2008

Monday- yesterday quite happening. i actually talk things out with jan and xiao yun. we really laid everything out and stuff like that. interesting time and stuff like that is really like we are quarreling over stuff. nevermind use jan always say one, we are only discussing. trying t0 cheat ourselves. lol. today i didn't sleep in class at all, today i went out for BS, for gym, and for stadium. some friends really scare me. ryan is like as though he got a heart attack, scare me like what. xiaoyun not really very good with her strength though. i can only do 20 kg with my two hands, so sad. i thought i can do better than that. strength is one thing that God place in us. like playing tug-o-war. you must have the strength to win your opponent. but having the G.S.M(Giant Slaying Mentality) is different. David being non-comparable to Goliath but won him in the battle. actually there is different strategies to the different sports we do even in our studies. there are different strategies in how to study too. i am a badminton player quite some time ago, i must have the foundation as my tree branch and strategies as my leaves to win. it really works on almost all things. I am inspired yesterday by being led to the book of Philemon but my spirit was shock because someone call me. i felt like hitting the person. I NEVER GET MY VERSE!!! i read the whole book trying to sense the verse, but when the thing was lost it will be pass on to the next person. too bad i lost it. but i know someone else will benefit from it so it is okay. my next turn will come. I believe. Amen! =)

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 3/17/2008 09:16:00 PM

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Saturday- today is my big day. i think today ended so fast lah. so exciting but ended so fast. today have cell at ECP. quite exciting with lizards and insect around us. after the sharing, we are suppose to go one round to share, a lizard climb down to my leg there, i don't what is it at first, so i freak out. after i knew what is that, i decided to chase it away. the other girls freak out like mad, scream and jump up the seats. such a funny scene, should have taped it down. come on la, it is just a lizard, and you are bigger than it. really nothing to be scared off. unless it is a crocodile maybe i will get scared. we had a fun cell group today. it is more than a norm. i find out that i am quite strong by eating eggs. maybe will eat 3 per week, to increase strength without playing badminton. my source of strength right now. Amen!

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 3/15/2008 11:01:00 PM

Friday, March 14, 2008

Thursday- i got nothing to do at home the whole day. not using the computer because no internet, watch tv. i found out that i long time never watch tv, so sat down and watch a few VCDs. during evening time, decided to go out with xiao yun to get a crumpler bag for myself. i wanted it long time ago, but this time is different i got a discount card with me. got a nice limited edition bag. kena a few nagging when i get home, because i got an expensive bag. but in the end settle down to explore my new bag. ah hah. i don't know how to adjust the strap of the bag. fuuny leh, got a new bag but don't know how to strap it. but i found out the method, i just put all the excessive ones in the bag design itself. i hereby want to congratulate my friend Yun He being able to go for is baptism. really feel very happy for him. i hope to see more of my friends getting baptised. Amen!

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 3/14/2008 12:05:00 AM

Monday, March 10, 2008

Monday- i really felt that my computer is really very boring. today i got the motivational workshop by HIGH ACHIEVERS. i think the company is very cool. the topics that i learn today, it is super spiritual lah. like they talk about the spirit of excellence. THIS IS WHAT I LEARN IN CHURCH. they talk about Vision. i am deeply inspired by this. they even tell us to write our vision for the class down. it reminds my of cell group. the coach said that he read from a book, that say " without vision, man perished" come on lah. that is what it is written on the bible. it is just that they cannot say that out. it is really a good motivational workshop.

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 3/10/2008 11:09:00 PM

Sunday, March 9, 2008

i went for 1st today. I wanted to go for 1st for a long time. but i didn't manage to do it. yay i finally can go 1st after some time. yah, i went there because i was on duty. today is quite tiring, almost slept in the class. got the mashimaro eyes. lol. went to lunch with my cell, played arm wrestling with tingxin, i always thought she is stronger than me because she is a constant canoeist in school, while i played badminton, once in a few months. i won her on my right hand. we played the left hand, because her hand fell from the table. my tendon was stretch, ouch! it is very painful, until now when i am typing, i am still not recover yet. i mean it is easy to see whether i hurt my tendon anot. my left hand keep shaking after that. i don't have shaky hand. the one time my hand shaking is really bad is after i did a constant duty for the crazy love event. i was in a super cold auditorium for a full five hours. maybe it was cold and i only move two fingers from my right hand. it became figid. scare me. i thought i could never recover from it. after a few hours of trembling it stop. but it was an interesting experience. when people at each of our side, are guessing who will win the wrestle. ah hah, johnny was right, i won. haha. maybe it is the textbooks, i brought home due to the last day of school. yahoo! holiday liao. thinking of how should i spend it with my two days holiday. i think one day i use it for doing modelling for DnT. my priority. and do my maths next sunday with some people teaching me. friday is a special day. i will also do something special. i have been thinking but not sure what i am going to do. maybe pay a visit to my old class gathering then go for cell dinner. after maybe stay over at my friend's place. i am not sure about that. but i know i must be ready in my spirit. will be praying some more. Amen!

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 3/09/2008 09:27:00 PM

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

wednesday. i off my computer awhile just now, becuase i am feeling to bored with it. went to room, call some people never pick up. roll on my bed a few times, stop by reading a few archie comics. it is really very boring. tomorrow is yunhe birthday. From here i want to wish him a happy birthday. he is 16 after a few minutes. i still got 8 months left before i reach 16. sad arh. today is consider a boring day. with that i conclude this post.

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 3/05/2008 11:11:00 PM

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

tuesday 04032008. It seem like i really got nothing to do. i can spend alot of time hugging the computer. yesterday i did being away from it and did some revision for my bio test. Ohmygoodness i lost 5 marks for labelling the parts on the function. when i am suppose to write them down. grrrr. i never read the thing properly. so sad. i lost the chance in getting my A1. bahxxxx. i just have to try harder the next time. i mean i got my unique way of studying. on the outside i may seem to be free and have the happy go easy attitude. but when i study, in split second i will be a super serious person. it applies when i am doing duty. don't ever joke with me when i am doing things seriously, i may just ignore you. yunhe was kinda freak out when he see my black face when i am studying and he disturb me. lolx. do i really look that fierce? hahas. maybe he can answer that to me later. maybe nxt time i try not to study in front of you all. as i can see, i am always doing duties in secluded locations. aiya, i know i am not that friendly lah. Will try to change that. Chill!!!

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 3/04/2008 08:00:00 PM

Monday, March 3, 2008

Today is a monday. Today i am getting more and more grouchy. i actually got angry with some juniors, my class people , and some of my teachers. I guess this is just another monday thing. every monday i will feel very very down, don't know for what reason. aiya, sure is SOTD. i don't really want to make these words so obvious. i am pretty tired today. so i didn't finish the chineses homework i am suppose to do, of course kena scolded by the teacher. i understand why she is so worked up with some things, but i did the homework by the end of the day. today i have bio, tml i got the bio test. i want to study well for bio. i spend about half an hour with my friends to really study. spend about 2hrs playing boring poker. but i manage to get the concepts right at the end of the day with the help of my friends. chill chill, need to take a chill pill everyday. or else very soon enough i will get myself into trouble again.

::.DyNaStY::RaY::KiD.:: at 3/03/2008 07:56:00 PM